


Separation is the Worst

by welcometomyasylum



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Post Break-up, post sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-07
Updated: 2013-12-07
Packaged: 2018-01-03 22:26:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1073765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welcometomyasylum/pseuds/welcometomyasylum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek left Stiles to go to Michigan so that Stiles could move on, but how is Stiles supposed to do that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stiles' View

**Author's Note:**

> I don't usually write fanfiction, but this came into my head and I had to get it out. This is unbeta'd, any grammar errors are my own, please don't kill me but feel free to let me know of any mistakes in the notes.

It had been six months since Derek had left. Six long months since Derek had told Stiles to go find someone better. That he would never be good enough for Stiles and that Stiles deserved so many things from a partner that he, supposedly, couldn’t provide. Every time Stiles thought of that moment, it felt like the twist of a knife in his heart. His chest drew itself in and Stiles had to strain from curling on the floor again to just cry. It had been 6 months. Stiles shouldn’t be this affected by Derek’s departure at this point. He needed to move on. 

But how could he move on from his mate? He had been trying to move on for the last few weeks. He had tried to listen to Derek. Tried to find someone ‘better’ that could ‘satisfy all of his needs.’ But it was so hard to find that person when he still didn’t know how Derek couldn’t. Stiles knew, objectively, that being away at Berkley was putting strain on their relationship, but he didn’t think that it was to the point that Derek would feel the need to end everything and move to Michigan.

What’s worse is that they both still loved each other, they still texted, they still Skyped and, every day, Derek asked if Stiles had been able to find someone else. And, every day, Stiles told him that no one could match up to what they had. Derek would usually go silent at this confession and there would be an awkward silence until Stiles started talking about what he learned in school that day or what the next monster of the week was back home in Beacon Hills. 

There were some days, what felt like the best of days, when Derek would begin talking and it was like they were still together. They would speak in ‘what ifs.’ What if Derek felt better in the future and returned to Beacon Hills when Stiles left school. Or what if Stiles moved to Michigan with Derek after he graduated because, surely they still needed teachers in Michigan, right? 

Then there were other days, what felt like the worst of days, when Stiles would call, tears already in his eyes, and Derek wouldn’t answer. These were the days that always hurt the most because Stiles knew he had a life outside of Stiles and Stiles’ emotions but thinking that he had moved on hurt more than any distance ever could.


	2. Derek's View

It had been six months since he had left Stiles behind. Six months since Derek confessed to Stiles that he wasn’t emotionally stable enough to be in a committed relationship. Even if that relationship was with his mate. Even with his mate as perfect for him as Stiles was. That was always the problem for Derek. Stiles was so great, he was moving forward with his life goals. He was working to get a job that he would be great at. He was doing all that he could to make a better life for himself and, whenever he talked about the future, he would always talk about how he and Derek would be together. That was the constant. No matter what the day, he would always picture Derek next to his side being exactly what he needed. 

How could Derek measure up to that? Derek, who couldn’t sleep most nights because his dreams brought nightmares of the past and future alike. Futures in which Stiles would die. Futures in which Stiles would get depressed because he would finally realize that Derek could never give him the children that Derek knew Stiles wanted. Futures in which he would, by some miracle, find a way to get Stiles a child and that was where the fires and the hunters come in. And the past where he got his entire family killed in one of the most painful ways possible.

What hurt the most was Stiles’ reactions to Derek whenever Derek voiced his fears. He would always be so supportive of anything that Derek wanted. He would tell Derek that he would stay by Derek’s side no matter what happened. And Derek knew that he would. He knew that Stiles would never willingly leave him. That, no matter how much pain and sadness Derek put Stiles through, Stiles would never be the one to leave Derek.

That was why Derek left. He needed something new, something different. He needed to at least try to get his life together and there was no way he could do it while he was with Stiles. He needed to be able to work through every last emotion running through his head and he needed to try to establish a life that he felt good enough about that he could add Stiles to. He needed to fix himself for himself before he could be comfortable enough to let Stiles in. He knew that he had to do this, but that didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt.

He couldn’t bear to be fully without Stiles so they still talked every day. He still took Stiles’ calls and he even made some of them himself. They would talk about their days and their emotions and what was going on back home in Beacon Hills. There were good days, neutral days, and horrible days.  
There were the good days that Derek would always pay the most for the next day. The days that would feel great while they were happening but would kill Derek the day after, like the world’s worst hangover. These days, Derek had to later remind himself that he couldn’t just run back to Stiles. He acted like they were still together, still happy, and still walking towards the future together. 

Then there were the bad days. The days that Derek could feel the hurt and the pain coming through their bond, but he couldn’t bring himself to answer the phone. He knew that, if he answered, his resolve would break and he would drive back to Stiles. He would go to Stiles and be there for him until, one day, he would come to resent Stiles for not allowing him to become good enough to deserve him. And those days hurt the most. He would never move on from Stiles but, hopefully, he would be able to get back to Stiles someday without any chance of resentment.


End file.
